Raising Men–The Task of a Father

My wife and I have been blessed with 3 wonderful boys. Hayden (8), Carson (6) & Harrison (2). We have now found out that we are being blessed (depending on who and when you ask) with now a 4th boy (name undecided, which is a different story) who is due to be born on May 8, 2011 – Mother’s Day.

Honestly, my wife and I were hoping and praying for a girl. My wife has always wanted a girl and honestly, I wanted to have a daughter. We both felt led by the Spirit in all things involved in this 4th child and had hoped that this would be our girl. I mean come on, surely God wouldn’t deprive a loving Christian couple of a baby girl?! But as we all know, God has His plans for our lives that are sometimes different than our plans.

It’s a running joke around our family that our family is cursed to have boys. I have 4 brothers, and now will have 4 sons. In fact, down my family blood line, if you remove the 1 girl cousin that was conceived via IVF (so basing this stat on the “regular” method of conception), my boys are numbers 9, 10, 11 & now 12 straight down the family line!

With all of this, I have spent the last 24 hours praying and asking God for guidance and a little insight into why he said “no” to the prayer request for a girl. We know God can say no, but when it happens on something we care so dearly about, it opens up the door for doubt inside of us. Some will say that questioning God is wrong but I think it depends on the reasoning behind the question. For me, my “why” was out of a request for clarity on His plan. I love having boys and I am looking forward to meeting our 4th boy. I just wanted a glimpse into why God chose to give us 4 boys instead of 3 and 1 girl.

I received my answer last night.

“To raise Men”.

I thought back to the whole purpose originally behind this blog. Originally, this blog was about trying to help get men to become Men of God rather than men of the world. I have always held to the statement that men are what is wrong with this world today. Men can either lead or destroy their homes. Some people might find that statement sexist, and by the world view, it might be. In the reality of the light of God though, men are called to lead their homes and men are put into the position of authority by God (this is by no way demeaning to a Christian woman and in no way is meant to degrade women as a whole or singularly as their role in a Christian family is equally of importance). 

Statistically, there are more women who attend church then men. There are also more married women who attend church when their husband does not than the other way around. These are what a friend of mine recently referred to as the “spiritually single married women”.

Basically, this screams to the fact that men are falling down on the job. How can a family be guided without the father doing his role? So if the problem is men, the only solution can be God using Men.

Boys 2 Men

God has given me a 4th boy with the mandate of raising all 4 of them to be Godly Men who will marry Godly Women and from my 4 boys, bring 4 Christ centered families on to this world that so desperately needs it.

How about you? Have you ever asked God for the purpose He has intended by putting your children into your life?

Psalms 127:3-5 (HCSB)

3 Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, 
     children, a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior 
     are the sons born in one’s youth.
5 Happy is the man who has filled his quiver with them.
     Such men will never be put to shame 
     when they speak with their enemies at the city gate.

 

Future of “men becoming Men” blog/group

So the followers of this blog will have noticed that the blog has been silent for the past half year (or more).

The past year or so has been one of many trials, stresses and revelations. The original goal of “men becoming Men” was to be a “small group” / bible study for men. I firmly believe that the lack of God in the lives of men are the reason behind the problems in our society and more importantly, our families.

However, in the past year, my wife and I have been tested with an ongoing health mystery for her and an over burdensome of stress in life. Her doctor actually told her that she needed to lower her stress load. This means that I needed to increase my load in order to take it off of her. I do this lovingly and willingly, as a husband should.

While I can take the added stress, sadly I am not able to create more hours in the day. This became an issue for the group because the added load that I have taken on has had to occupy the time in my week that was originally devoted to this group and the men in it. As much as I loved having the group and honestly was very excited as it was just starting to really grow and take off, my obligation to my wife comes first and her needs outweighed the desire I had for the group.

Going Forward

I have spent the last several months contemplating what do to with this blog. I feel that letting it simply disappear would be a bad thing. So after much prayer and contemplation, I am going to continue at least the blog with its original mindset of teaching men how to become Men of God.

I know that one day, God will give me the ability to bring back the small group part of “men becoming Men”. Perhaps this whole situation is God’s way of revealing another important aspect of what it means to be a Man of God so that I can share it with others.

Regardless of what happens, I believe that men need to continue to learn from each other and their life experiences. I encourage men to get into good Christian relationships with Godly Men in order to promote further growth in Him. Through Him we can lead our families in a way that can change the lives of everyone they encounter.

In Him.

Dave

Group Reboot – October 2009!

Men,

As most of you know, I put the group on hold due to my own hectic work schedule. My business caters to school music (Band & Orchestra) and so the beginning of the school year means 60 hour weeks for 3 weeks with the 4th & 5th weeks usually falling into a period of controlled chaos before finally settling down to full normalcy. Well, today is day 1 of week 4.

I always learn something from this time of year. For 2009, the 3 that really stood out to me were:

Patience– dealing with the public, especially during the beginning of the school year requires patience. People don’t want to wait in lines. So when they think “no big deal, let’s go rent a saxophone” they are not expecting to walk in to a store with 50-100 people who thought the same thing!

Respect – my wife is a trooper. She is the Director of Preschool Ministry at Central. So she has a busy job normally. To top it off, Central also has the month at least leading up to “Kickoff Weekend” (which was this past weekend – hence the big tent outside the building) which requires a LOT of extra hours, hard work and planning leading up to it. But to add to her stress that was already peaking… she had to do it essentially as a single mom. She had to deal with all 3 of our boys (ages 7, 5 & 10 months) without me (since I was gone in the morning and didn’t come home until after they were already in bed) while maintaining a frantic schedule of her own. My wife is a blessing to me. Honestly, I think that during the past 3 weeks, she has the harder job than I do.

Health– I am not a health nut. Those who know me know that physical fitness is not my priority. However, the month leading up to my “busy season”, I agreed to go on a 30 day strict diet with my wife. The end result, loss of 17 pounds and I honestly made it through this busy season feeling better and more energetic than any previous year (I say this as I had Krispy Kreme and coffee for breakfast only an hour ago). Combine the principle of being a temple for the Lord and being a “good steward” of what He has given to us and I really have a feeling of conviction on my health. I have been exercising and eating better (overall – just not this morning) and trying to improve this aspect of my life.

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So the “men becoming Men” group will be relaunching in 2009. Whether you are planning on returning or joining for the first time, please let me know by emailing me at bobloblawvegas@gmail.com.

We will be starting off the first study of the season by mirroring the series that Central has just kicked off called “Lovestruck”. This is a study through the poetic book of Song of Solomon (Song of Songs). I love it when churches are willing to study through this book. The book is about the relationship between a man and a woman. It covers many of the issues that we all face in our own relationships from dating to respect, sex to arguments… and everything in between.

However, we are going to go through subjects that Central will likely not because of the nature of the text. Sex. This book has things in it that many will not find appropriate for weekly church services. However, we as men need to know what the Bible says about relationships between a man and a woman and all that it entails, including sex.

I am really excited about this study and hope that you are too.

We will likely start off this study on Wednesday October 14th (since Central has “First Wednesday” on the 7th). We usually start around 6:45-7:00 pm. If you need directions, please email me.

Forgiveness – Easier Said Than Done

Recently, the concept of forgiveness has been heavily on my mind. It has been an overwhelming and all encompassing presence. I have been feeling it strongly for the past year or so but in the past month I would say, it has been more so than ever.

As a Christian, we are told that we are to forgive. OK, sounds easy on paper. But what about in practicality? How quickly are we to forgive, who do we forgive and how easy is it really?

People naturally LIKE to hold on to their grudges. It’s human nature that when we are hurt by someone, we put up our defenses in every aspect of ourselves towards that person, as to protect who we are. But is this Biblical? When we do this, are we really forgiving them?

The Bible tells us that we are to forgive “just as the Lord has forgiven you” (Colossians 3:13). I have had people point out that this particular verse, based on the context of the rest of the passage and letter, is speaking towards fellow Christians. One could make the argument that this does not apply towards non-believers. If this were the only verse on forgiveness in the Bible, then I could understand that point. However, since the Bible never contradicts itself, we must interpret verses like this in context with the rest of the Bible’s teaching on the same topic as well as the context of the verse in the one book.

Luke 6:27 (HCSB)
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” (Jesus speaking)

Matthew 6:14-15 (HCSB) – This is immediately after “the Lord’s prayer”
“For if you forgive people their wrongdoing,  your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing.” (Jesus speaking)

In these verses, Jesus Himself is teaching on forgiveness. Who better to take a lesson on forgiveness from than Jesus?! Jesus does not say here that we are only to forgive Christians. Instead, He tells us to forgive others the same way that He forgave us. This goes directly against typical human nature!

Here are a few quotes on the concept of forgiveness that show how some influential people view the concept of forgiveness:

“In the Bible it says they asked Jesus how many times you should forgive, and he said 70 times 7. Well, I want you all to know that I’m keeping a chart.” – Hillary Clinton

“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” – John F. Kennedy

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

What attitude do these 3 people have about forgiveness based on their quotes? The current Secretary of State has one of limited forgiveness accoring to this statement. A former President had the mentality of holding on to part of the grudge by “never forget(ing) their names”. Dr. King ties the ability to forgive with the ability to love.

None of these approaches are what the Bible teaches. Dr. King’s statement comes the closest to the general concept, but falls short of the fact that forgiveness is not tied to our own ability to love, but rather God’s ability to love and therefore forgive us and through His grace, giving us the example and ability to forgive.

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Forgiveness in man without God is impossible.
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Without Christ changing our hearts, our souls and our minds, we are unable to forgive like this because without the gift of forgiveness by the sheer grace of God, we are unable to even understand the concept of forgiveness.

So why has the concept of forgiveness been weighing on me so heavily? Why is it that I find myself tearing up while driving and listening to music about God’s grace for us? It really started when I started to contemplate writing my post “Enduring Tough Trials – The Unanswered Why” about a month ago. As you may or may not have read in my post, as a child, I was a victim of heinous crime that too many children are victim to.

Without Christ, I cannot by myself forgive what happened to me. Through Him, I can do anything, including forgive the person who wronged me so many years ago. While I still believe that he needs to face justice of the law of this world for his crimes, as a Christian, I have no other choice in me to forgive him. And to be honest, thanks to the grace of God, it really isn’t that hard to do!

When I talk to other people who have dealt with issues as heinous as this in their own lives, I ask them to keep this in mind… what if the person who did this to you has come to truly accept Christ? By the general nature of salvation, they (and you) are no longer the same person you were before Christ but rather a new person with new desires and a new heart.

2 Corinthians 5:17-18 (NLT)
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ.  

We all sin. To God, all sin is sin and there is no degrees of sin. Through Christ, it is as easy to forgive any sin, no matter how severe this world judges the sin to be. Trust in the Lord with your own forgiveness. Just as the “Lord’s prayer” says,

Matthew 6:12 (HCSB)  
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Study Post (Ruth 3) – Dangerous Liaisons

At the start of Chapter 3, we have the 2 main female characters, Naomi and Ruth, discussing this seemingly stagnate relationship between Ruth and Boaz. Naomi realizes that they need to take action if anything is going to happen. So like a good mother, she starts meddling…

Ruth 3:1-5 (NLT)
One day Naomi said to Ruth, “My daughter, it’s time that I found a permanent home for you, so that you will be provided for. Boaz is a close relative of ours, and he’s been very kind by letting you gather grain with his young women. Tonight he will be winnowing barley at the threshing floor. Now do as I tell you—take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor, but don’t let Boaz see you until he has finished eating and drinking. Be sure to notice where he lies down; then go and uncover his feet and lie down there. He will tell you what to do.” 
“I will do everything you say,” Ruth replied.

Basically, she is telling her that Boaz has only seen you working. She was likely sweating, not done up, and totally scrubbed out. Her mother in law is basically saying “you stink, get a bath, put on your best stuff and show him that you are a hottie!” – Yes, that might be taking a little liberty in that translation but I think it makes the point. The rest of Naomi’s advice though could be quite dangerous. She tells Ruth to let Boaz party, eat, drink and fall asleep. Then, only after he is fully content, go and present yourself to him and he will tell you what to do!

This could be seen as very dangerous. The threshing floor is where the harvesters “thresh” their crop, separating the lighter weight outer husks of the barley from the usable grain. This is also usually a big party at the end of the harvest. They are living it up celebrating a successful harvest. The men would commonly sleep by the harvest that night to protect it. You would also find prostitutes ready to prey on the men’s portion of the harvest. So it could be seen that Naomi is telling Ruth to do the same thing that a prostitute would do. Now I don’t read it that way personally. I think that Naomi is trusting in God to provide as He has been doing for them recently and that she is trusting in the godliness of Boaz to do the right thing. She is really telling Ruth to go and get in Boaz’s way. For many of us men, this is what it takes for us to get up off our butts and get into the action of pursuing the women that God presents us with… I know it was for me.

So Ruth does as she is told and when Boaz has fallen asleep, she goes and wakes him up by uncovering his feet. Boaz is startled and immediately was asking who was there… probably assuming that it was a prostitute. Instantly, Ruth identifies that it is her and tells Boaz to “Spread the corner of your covering (blanket or cloak) over me, for you are my family redeemer”. The Hebrew word used here translated as “covering” (or cloak) is also used in Chapter 2 where Boaz is blessing Ruth. In that blessing, the word is translated as “wings” but done so in a way where he is stating that God will put her under his “wings” (or covering) of protection. So it could then also be said that Ruth is suggesting to Boaz that he fufil his own blessing wish on her and that Boaz is the one to fufil God’s protection over her.

There are some who will suggest that Ruth was suggesting an inappropriate sexual relationship here, but that is inaccurate. In those times, a man putting his “cloak” on a woman was a sign that the couple was engaged to be married. So really, what Ruth is suggesting here is that Boaz propose to her. This is not Ruth asking Boaz to marry her, but rather Ruth suggesting to Boaz that he propose marriage to her. Essentially… “Hey Boaz, are you going to propose to me or what?!”

Keep in mind that Boaz COULD have taken advantage of this situation. Ruth was completely ready to do whatever Boaz said. He could have taken advantage of her here. This is just another example for us as Men. We need to always act in accordance with the will of God. There are times when men profess to do something that is the will of God, but in reality they are doing something that is contrary to the Word of God.

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God’s Will never contradicts God’s Word
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Boaz goes on to reveal how blessed he feels by Ruth’s display. See, even as successful and Godly man, wealthy & respected, Boaz didn’t think that he was worthy of Ruth. He was an older man. He replies to her that she was showing more family loyalty then before (since she went within the “Kinsman Redeemer” concept of the Israelites, even though she was a Moabite). She chose him instead of going “after a younger man, whether rich or poor” (Ruth 3:10).

Boaz is more than happy and willing to marry Ruth, but he knows that he does not have the immediate redeemer role. There is another man who was a closer relative in the succession order of the redeemer tradition and Boaz must let him first have the chance to redeem Ruth (and Naomi). This further speaks to the character of Boaz. This other man has allowed Ruth and Naomi to live in the poorest conditions even though he should have redeemed them. Boaz though knows that he has to allow the other man his right. This is honorable.

Boaz promises Ruth that he will go and confront this other man in the morning. He is a man of action and was not going to let this sit and wait. He was going to take care of it right away! He WANTS to marry Ruth. So he will do everything in his power to take care of this right away.

Lastly, Boaz tells Ruth not to go right home but rather to stay with him for the rest of the night rather than going home at midnight. He was protecting her. Boaz got her up right before the sun arose and sent her home so that no one would recognize her. Had others found her lying at his feet on the threshing floor in the morning, they would have made the assumptions that would have destroyed her character and reputation.

But Boaz did one thing further. He sent her home with roughly 60 pounds of Barley. This was intended for Ruth to present to Naomi as proof that Boaz was going to take care of them. Naomi receives this gift and tells Ruth that they need to do nothing more because Boaz “won’t rest until he has settled things today”.

Boaz is one of the men in the Bible that we as Men of God should aspire to be like. Respectful, honorable, caring, a man of action, eager to do what is right… the list could go on for as long as this post!

Strive to be like Boaz.

Enduring Tough Trials – The Unanswered Why

Warning: This post gets extremely personal.
For some, it may be uncomfortable to read.
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At some point in our lives, we all have to endure tough trials. Defining “tough trials” obviously depends on who it is as well as where the person is in their own life. Regardless of this fact, we all have to face them and it is only human nature to wonder why.

Why? It’s one of those questions that can have so many different meanings to it. My kids for instance can ask me why something is the way it is or why they have to go to bed at a certain time. Sometimes, their “whys” are simply out of a growing curiosity about the world that they live in. They are learning new things constantly and with that comes questions for understanding. Sometimes, their “whys” are born out of a nature of complaint. They don’t understand why they have to do something they don’t want to and so their why isn’t really seeking understanding but to rather voice their dissatisfaction.

When we face these trials and we ask why, it seems that the answer we find is often inadequate to us, if we even find an answer at all. So what do we do when we are face with the unanswered why?

During “First Wednesday” at Central, I had a conversation with someone that was completely innocent to them. They didn’t know the history of my life and they didn’t realize what I have been dealing with heavily for the past 11 months and really, for the last 22 years. She couldn’t have know because to be honest, it is not something that I share easily and with very many people. However, this needs to change.

If we are to live a life free from the concerns of this world in order to better follow Christ, we need to be willing to drop our guard and be open and down right honest with those in our lives. Our past is not really our own past but rather it belongs to God. This is not an easy thing for many people to accept and the premise of what I am getting at is even harder for people to act out.

The conversation that I had was about an iPhone application that will show you on a map where registered child predators & sex offenders live. She went on to comment on how shocked at how many there were. She commented that there was one only 6 houses down from one of their friends’ house who is having their first baby soon.

I then hit her with a little added information: that’s only the ones who have been convicted and thus have to legally register. Think about that for a second. How many are there REALLY? I don’t know the stats on this and obviously, who could? Obviously, as a father of 3 wonderful boys, to say that this topic disturbs me would be an understatement. However, there is far more behind it then that.

See, as a child, I was a victim.

For the majority of my life, I was not able to fully recall what exactly happened. This is a defense mechanism of the mind, to block things like this out. Still to this day, my memory of the events is fragmented, just like most of my childhood from that time. I actually remember very little before the age of 8. Let me clarify that this is not simply because of my current age not being able to remember things when I was say 5 years old. Even a the age of 10+, I have never been able to fully recall much of my past before the age of 8. Its like my mind has completely blocked me access to that entire period of my life.

When I think about that, it is almost unbelievable. My oldest son Hayden is turning 7 years old in about 2 weeks. I think about the memories from his life so far and how awesome it is. I think about some of the most special moments that he and I have had in his short life. I can’t imagine him not being able to remember all of his current life up to this point. But that is how it is for me and my own memories.

To think that I don’t remember much of my first 8 years of life! Why?!

Hopefully, there will be some resolution to all of this. See, for the past 22 years, he has been on the run. He fled the country and evaded capture on more than one occasion. To this day, he has not had to deal fully with what he has done. All this time, how many others has he done this to?

Why?

The person who did this to me is still living free. Free from the consequences of his actions and free to do as he pleases… to whomever he can.

Why?!

There is no answer on this earth that makes sense. But I find myself constantly falling back on the following verse:

1 Peter 1:6-7 (NLT)
So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

Why? So that my faith can be purified and refined because I rely on Christ as my rock during these trials. I can be patient and I can survive this because in the end, this is the only thing that offers a solution to the problem of the unanswered why.

God works all things to His glory. So while God didn’t want this to happen to me, in the end, it has helped define who I am as a man, a husband & a father. The events of my life are being used to God’s glory in so many ways. It has made me a better man because it has forced me to lean on God and without Him as my anchor and I could not deal with this in my life.

So while I may never understand the “why” of these events, I know that my God loves me, cares for me and is using me to accomplish His work on this Earth.

Only Bad People Go To Hell – Understanding the Bible

How many hold the belief that good people go the heaven and bad people go to hell?

Growing up through my teenage years, this is definitely the mindset that I had… but at the same time, even by my own standards, I wasn’t neccisarily a “good” person all the time. I was simply good most of the time and thought surely that was enough. I mean really, how can someone be good ALL the time, right?! And like many “Christians” I thought that God forgave us because Jesus died for my sins past, present and future.

So while I wasn’t a good person all the time, the little bit of bad that I was seemed to me to be taken care of at the cross. I was overall “good” and honestly was not too worried about my life.

Boy am I grateful that Jesus didn’t come back during that time in my life!

This is a problem with many people who claim Christ as their savior. So many have a partial knowledge of what the Bible says. This partial or “selective Christianity” is a dangerous trap that many fall in to. The problem is further amplified by the world and the understandings and philosophies that we are all exposed to from a young age. We try and merge what we believe with what we are taught and the end result is a selective faith that is a distrortment and perversion of the truth.

See, I had very little knowledge of my Bible as a teenager and in my early twenties. I took the things that I wanted to remember and made them my own. This is what happens when we are not steadily in our Bibles, the very Word of God. Think about that statement, the “Word of God”. When referenced to the Bible, what does that really mean? Not what does that mean to you, but what does it mean regardless of who is asking?

To properly answer this question, we have to establish a basis of what is acceptable as the “Word of God” and what is not. Is the Bible, all of it, the “Word of God”? If it isn’t then what parts are and what parts aren’t? If some of the Bible is more important than other parts of the Bible, which parts do we lean more heavily on than others?

Jesus confirmed that the Old Testament was the Word of God.

Matthew 5:17-18 (NLT)
“Don’t misunderstand why I (Jesus) have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not even the smallest detail of God’s law will disappear until its purpose is achieved.”

Why would Jesus be here to “accomplish their purpose” if the Old Testament wasn’t from God? So then, what about the New Testament? Well, Paul teaches us in 2 Timothy 3:16 that all scripture is “God breathed” or “inspired by God” and therefore is profitable for teaching.  But are the New Testament letters really “Scripture”?

I recently heard a sermon by Mark Driscoll, the preaching pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, WA (www.marshillchurch.org). He was teaching on several things in the sermon but one of the big topics were how do we know that the New Testament letters that are in the Bible are the Word of God and other dismissed “gospels” (such as the “Gospel of Judas”) are not?

I won’t go into the whole detail of it all, but the basic point was this: were the writers actual eyewitnesses to the events? See many of the letters and “gospels” that didn’t make it into our Bible were dismissed because they were written hundreds of years after the life of Christ. They were also written by people claiming to be someone else who would have been a witness in order to add credibility to their teachings. Many of these letters actually teach things that are contrary to the rest of the Bible and the authentic letters in the New Testament. So for these reasons, as well as others, these false teaching letters never made it into the Bible we know and use today.

Back to the point of the New Testament letters that are in the Bible, we find Peter (one of the closest disciples to Jesus) actually referring to Paul’s letters as “scripture”.

2 Peter 3:14-16 (ESV)
Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace. And count the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you according to the wisdom given him, as he does in all his letters when he speaks in them of these matters. There are some things in them that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unstable twist to their own destruction, as they do the other Scriptures.

I have underlined the areas in that passage that lead to the evidence that Peter, an actual disciple and one of the closest to Jesus, considered these new Testament letters “Scripture”. Then what is written in 2 Timothy holds true that ALL scripture is the Word of God because it all was inspired by Him!

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So with all this in mind, we can hold firm that the Bible is truly the “Word(s) of God”.
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So back to the original topic of “only bad people go to hell”. Actually, this is true. Only Bad people go to hell. Good people go to heaven.

Right now, there are many reading that statement scratching their heads a bit. This statement seems to promote that we don’t need grace and redemption… actually this statement does not go there. The issue is that we by our nature hold to the definition of “good” that the world has. The God of the Bible has a different definition of “good” than the world.

To God (through His Word), good has to do with righteousness. Because of sin, none of us can reach the righteousness of God on our own. None of us are good. Romans 3:10 (there is no one righteous; not even one) referring back to the Old Testament Psalm:

Psalms 14:1-3 (HCSB)
      The fool says in his heart, “God does not exist.” 
        They are corrupt; their actions are revolting.
           There is no one who does good.
     The Lord looks down from heaven on the human race
        to see if there is one who is wise,
           one who seeks God.
     All have turned away;
        all alike have become corrupt.
          There is no one who does good,
             not even one.

Jesus tells us that there is only One who is good: God (Luke 18:19).

So yes, the fundamental thought that most people hold of good people going to heaven and bad people going to hell is true… they just fail to realize that we are all bad and that without the grace of God and the redemption of Christ, we are all going to Hell.

Romans 3:22-24 (HCSB)
God’s righteousness through faith in Jesus Christ, to all who believe, since there is no distinction. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. They are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. 

So to those who do not know what the Bible says, the phrase should be: “Bad people go to hell, good people to heaven and those justified by grace through faith in Jesus Christ who are redeemed by His sacrifice go to heaven”… but the world likes things nice and short which is why it conveniently leaves off the 3rd category of people.